Compunction
by deviousprincess
Summary: "If it's a fight you're looking for.." Unarmed, grieving, and irritable. Two different worlds.
1. Prologue

A/N: I wasn't sure whether to make this a one-shot or a two-shot, but I finally decided on the second one. Cheers?

Disclaimer- The characters aren't mine.

Two-Bit Mathews sat in complete silence with what was left of his gang. He liked to think of himself as an insouciant still kid-at-heart type of guy. One with an abundant amount of enthusiastic, absurd jokes to tell. He shifted his propped feet slightly, his worn converse smacking a booze bottle, the achromatic liquid claiming its parts on the table. _Great. _No one seemed to care at the moment. Some kind of pitiful silence. The apathy was getting at him. The jobless teen knew what they were waiting on. Him to make a funny or start laughing randomly. But he didn't. Not even attempts were made.

Sure, a period of self-denial occurred after the deaths, especially with the kid, but they had moved on. If only their group hadn't died with them. Two-Bit glanced over at his fellow gang members.

Pony was smoking a cigarette, having that skittish look in his eyes like Johnny had. Of course he wasn't as bad as Johnny, but must have had those sudden insecure, self-pity moments.

The others, he couldn't help but infer, had rather ashen looks on their faces. Looking like they were about as alive as zombies. They had become more of acquaintances with each other than friends. The worst, yeah. They barely did anything with each other any more. Two-Bit was sure they missed hanging as much as he did, but why couldn't they at least make attempts? This was enough of a grieving period. However, it was endless for the gang. Cohere wasn't a word for them any more.

"'Ey, Toobs."

He loved being the merry one and all, but god, try a little.

"Two-Bit...!"

It wasn't like they all hadn't shared huge amounts of animosity towards the Socs after the tragedy. The endurance was enough. It was over, it was over, the Socs tried to say. Two-Bit knew better. They were still heartless, conceited, and as unfeeling as ever. Maybe he was too biased, he told himself. He didn't give a hoot. What greasers didn't feel that way?

"KEITH!" A fist slammed down on the table.

Two-Bit jerked up with a wince and stared at Steve with an astounded look.

"Me 'an Soda are headin' into town," A tinge of annoyance from being ignored still lurked in his voice. "Wanna come?"

Two-Bit smiled at the invitation, but looked away from them with humorless eyes. Maybe he would've usually jumped at a chance to go somewhere interesting. Right now just wasn't the right time. "No thanks, guys."

"How about you, Ponyboy?" Soda touched his younger brother's shoulder, making him jump.

Pony only shook his head, blowing out puffs of smoke in staggered exhales.

Steve crankily muttered something about hearing loss as they made their way out. Two-Bit listened for the engine giving away their departure.

Not wanting to be a contributor to the silence any longer, Two-Bit stood slowly, his bones letting out dissonant pops from sitting too long. He headed for the door.

"Leavin' so soon, Two-Bit?" Pony asked.

Two-Bit had been there too long to say so soon. They could care less where each other went. Might as well detest each other. "Yeah. I'll be seeing 'ya."

Setting out on his excursion, Two-Bit thought of where to go. He named and rejected everywhere he thought of. None of his thoughts were agreeable anymore. It was too early to party, which was just about the only thing he was good at. No one to really go with anymore, though. Soda and Steve kept to themselves, Darry was a bore, and Ponyboy wasn't the party type. No one his own age. He didn't really need them to have a good time, but they were supposed to be a gang, weren't they? What was he thinking? The only way he could have a good time was if he got drunk real good.

He heard a few people calling out to him as he passed by, but he ignored them all. He was going somewhere else today. Somewhere else. Somewhere a tranquil atmosphere with restful people who seemed like the only ones anyone could get along with. With two special extraordinary people who could never be forgotten.

A/N: This is kind of a prologue, I guess, even though it was never supposed to be here. ;D You should tell me what you think so far, and I promise that the next chapter will make up for it.


	2. Griever

A/N: Thank you DirenKyo and wonderful Bri for reviewing the first chapter. I hope you like this chapter, because personally, I really enjoyed writing for Randy and would write another story with him in an instant if I got an idea.

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><p>Rest in peace... He forced his eyes to look at the engraved print.<p>

_Here lies.._

_Johnny Cade. _

_Dallas Winston._

Two-Bit sighed unsteadily. Both of them. Right next to each other. Like they would've wanted it.

Why did they have to go? Anyone but them. Were they really the only ones who held the gang together? Johnny was. Dallas acted like he wasn't part of the group a lot of the time. Like a loner before, during, and after. Probably even in New York. It was like a chain reaction. Johnny, then in the blink of an eye, Dallas was gone too. Only two, but yet their gang seemed so much smaller. Why it was so effective was a mystery.

Why am I here again? He thought stupidly. Oh yeah. To do what he had been doing for the longest time. _Grieve over the past._

Letting go and moving on seemed to be much of a problem for the gang. Always had been, each to their own personal situations. They all had their issues; it just wasn't something they discussed, being dudes and all.

As they had all learned from birth, find someone to blame. Two-Bit, in specific, wanted to blame that dirty Soc and his friends who happened to be drunk. They were two innocent kids, at least one of them was; they didn't deserve death. He was talking himself in circles.

He thought of how he'd never see them again. He'd never see Johnny's dark face or his suspicious eyes or ever hear his unspoken words.

He would never again hear Dally's specious tone or hear him curse under his breath. He would never find him in his house or on the couch, sleeping off a hard night. He would never have another special drinking buddy, or someone to complain about girls with. No one to swipe from stores with him and take the blame whenever one of them was caught.

Although he was positive neither Johnny or Dallas would want him tearing up over them, he did anyway. It felt odd to have such sad emotions bottled up and never express them. Crying was another thing you just didn't do. Humor was a good way to cover things.

Two-Bit felt himself turn to stone as he heard footsteps behind him. He wasn't ashamed of anyone seeing him like this, but he certainly wasn't thrilled.

He turned to meet an equally expressionless face. One with dark hair, suitable clothes, who looked about as delighted as Two-Bit was to see him. Identified clearly as a Soc.

Two-Bit looked around, but never spotted a fancy car. His eyes widened as he recognized him as one of the Socs who was an accessory to the murder of Bob. One who helped provoke it, anyway. He was also the same one who wanted to talk to Ponyboy after the incident before Johnny died. He had heard from Darry that he had also came by to see Ponyboy after the other traumatizing event. It didn't matter. Two-Bit wasn't glad to see him. He actually preferred to never see him again. They had seen each other in the halls at school, and judging from the disinterested looks they gave each other, they weren't excited by the other's presence.

"Guess you expected to be here alone, huh?" Randy took an awkward step toward him.

Two-Bit looked at him as if to tell him to go away, but not a moment afterwards saw there was no chance when he noticed a tombstone reading _Bob Sheldon _a few feet away_._ Two-Bit allowed himself to scowl.

How dare they bury someone like him so close to Johnny and Dally. Apparently the gravediggers hadn't read the papers.

Randy seemed lost for a moment, but then let his eyes wander onto Two-Bit. "You're Two-Bit, right?" He had tried his best to get along with folk on the east side of town, but it just seemed nearly impossible. After all that happened, many people didn't want anything to do with him. However, he had convinced numerous people that he had changed for the better and had stopped harrassing greasers.

"Don't even try to act friendly with me, Adderson," Two-Bit snapped, highly irascible at the moment.

"Who's acting?" Randy almost snarled. He wasn't in the best mood either and sure as hell didn't need a long-haired Two-Bit making matters worse.

"You better watch your tone," Two-Bit snarled back and self-consciously felt his back pocket for his switchblade. _Screw it. _It had been this long after their deaths', and he still felt for his switchblade out of habit. He didn't need his switchblade to deal with a Soc, anyway. Two-Bit still recalled the memory of Randy snatching his jacket off Marcia's shoulders and his threat of back-up. He had gotten past it. Randy had also forgiven Two-Bit for his _Pity the backseat_ comment and the threat of starting an unnecessary fight. They had just wanted their girls back, after all. If it came down to it, the blame fell on Cherry's shoulders, drawing back to the beginning if you wanted to get technical. But Randy would never say that; she was probably well aware a majority of it happened because of her. Three lives payed for it, too. Including his best friend.

Both teens felt the quiet atmosphere intensify, something Two-Bit had hoped to get away from.

Randy sighed, sounding desparate. "All right man, I'm not looking for a fight." Who came to a graveyard to fight anyway?

Two-Bit wondered if he fought solo, or if he always used his group under circumstances. Probably not man enough to fight skin on skin.

"I'm not lookin' to start one," Two-Bit said as calmly as he could. No apologies valid.

Knowing this awkwardness wouldn't subside on its own, Randy made another attempt. "You were close with them, weren't you." As soon as he'd said it, he realized it probably wasn't the smartest thing to say. He half-expected an outburst.

Two-Bit could've rounded up the most smartass response, but he nodded lightly. "'Yeh."

Attempt failed. The two just stared at the gray tombstones. Randy at Bob's and Two-Bit at Johnny and Dally's.

"Sorry, man."

"For what?" Two-Bit spat out, set on keeping his replies laconic.

Randy knew he just wanted to make him say it. "For all this shit," He said in a low voice. "I never thought it'd be taken to the extreme." He'd always felt guilty. He wanted to make things right.

"We all never think about the outcomes!" Two-Bit said fiercely. Two-Bit saw Randy as culpable, but he also saw himself in the same way. Hell, maybe if he'd showed up earlier instead of getting drunk, he could've convinced them to sit somewhere else.

"It wasn't all my fault!" By this time, Randy was shouting too.

"That's right," Two-Bit took his voice down a notch. "It was **his **fault." He kicked a bit of dirt onto Bob's grave, almost sending Randy into a shock attack.

"Bastard!" Randy cursed, both boys riled up for sure now. He resisted every urge to relive his past, and start calling him a greaser and worthless and scum.

Two-Bit suddenly backed down, mostly out of guilt and his promise of not starting anything. He was shocked at his own lack of sensitivity. For the first time, it occurred to him that he wasn't the only one who suffered over the deaths beyond the gang. Bob was Randy's best friend, probably like a brother, and it wasn't Two-Bit's place to disparage him. Usually he wouldn't have noticed it, but the pain in Randy's eyes told him something.

"Sorry," Two-Bit said, trying to sound like he meant it. "Lost control." Man, did he want a cigarette.

It took him a second, but Randy finally calmed down after brushing the dirt off his friend's grave and deep breaths. He had suffered from anger problems before Bob's passing and realized that drinking only made it worse. He didn't acknowledge Two-Bit's apology.

Feeling less guilty than before, Two-Bit kneeled down in the middle of Dallas and Johnny's graves'. He whispered something.

Randy saw this as a pefect opportunity to kick Two-Bit in the ribs, but he looked away from it. He looked at his friend's grave and his eyes saddened when he remembered Bob's determined face.

It seemed like hours that they stayed there in silence, gazing tearfully at the old-looking tombstones. Their eyes didn't meet for quite some time.

Two-Bit wasn't seeing gray. He was seeing Dally's daring face and Johnny's cautious one. How Dally was up to doing anything, from robbing stores right down fooling around with hoes. How Johnny didn't like doing anything by himself and was remembered as a hero. He started thinking of that stay gold saying, apparently his last words spoken to Ponyboy. He didn't know much what he meant by it, but if it was up to him, Johnny would have a golden tombstone instead of a boring colorless one.

Randy wasn't seeing gray, either. He was busy remembering all the times he had with Bob from partying, double dates with Marcia and Cherry, sports, and even beating up a few greasers. They had always had each other's backs', whether it was fights or anything else. The first and only time Randy had failed was when he saw Bob get stabbed by the kid. Pretty much bailed on his best friend. Maybe he could've helped him. "I'm so sorry, Bob," Randy said this almost inaudibly.

Two-Bit looked up at Randy, seeing both their eyes were now puffy and red from crying.

"I'll sure miss him," Randy's voice took a breach.

Two-Bit nodded understandingly. If he spoke, it'd probably be impossible to make out the words.

After a few more mournful moments, Two-Bit pushed himself off the ground, regathering himself. "Well, c'mon dude. We can't stay here forever."

Randy was working on rubbing the tears out of his eyes, only increasing the level of puffiness. He knew neither of them would never mention this to anyone. He dizzily took a step away from Bob's grave, feeling the pang of overused guilt hit him again.

Two-Bit was feeling the exact same thing, little did he know. Just better at hiding it.

Randy sniffled and walked on toward the exit of the graveyard. Bob would have never meant for all this to happen. He was a good guy, and Randy would defend him until the day he was with buried alongside him. He knew Bob would do the same thing for him.

Two-Bit shook a little as he wondered if Dallas and Johnny would approve of him talking to Randy. Johnny surely had some forgiveness in his heart, but Dallas surely didn't. Two-Bit wondered if Dallas was ever given a second chance or a second thought, if he would do things over with the same cold heart and distant behavior.

As they took their time walking out, it was like they weren't from two different worlds. It was like they didn't want to kill the other's kind for all they did.

Two-Bit glanced at the guy beside him. Shoulders bent, breathing irregular, devastated. It was like looking into a mirror of matching emotions. Maybe Pony was right when he said he was just a guy who wanted.. Needed, to talk. Maybe he could find a few things he had in common with Mr. 'Super Soc'.

Randy didn't care if he was walking alongside a rival who knew his true emotions. His calm and cool exterior was too long gone to be retrieved. Personality shown through. It wasn't such a crime letting out your emotions like a genie in a bottle.

On the borderline of the east and west side, like the equator separating the two dimensions. Truth be told, neither would want to be seen with each other. One last look.

"Take care." That was about as friendly as it gets.

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><p>AN: When I was writing this sad story (I know, I'm a horrible person), I came up with this pun that just cracked me up. Two-Bit's a Greaser, right? Well, in this story, he was a Griever. Do 'ya get it? 'Course 'ya do. Lmao. Do I sound like Two-Bit? o-o Anyway, lemme know if y'all thought this was sad, or just plain heartwrenching. ;(


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